My mistakes

My life in itself is a collection of mistakes.
Some good, some bad, some life altering, some worth cherishing……
I chose pen over crayons, that is my mistake but do i regret it? No because if I did, I could never learn to paint with ball-pens…
I chose to love over and over, knowing about heartbreaks…this was my mistake for the illusion of someone’s touch is fascinating.
I love scorching summer sun and not cold romantic days, because I like the promises…..I like the certainty that the sun would come back tomorrow unlike the clouds who wouldn’t
I chose to be different, not on purpose but by choices….god! it makes situations awkward….this was my mistake….
I am sorry I couldn’t love rains, for it reminds me of someone crying up above, it reminds me of how even sometimes the god is weak and cries while we pretend to be strong…..I chose not to pretend, this was my mistake…
I chose wine over ‘whine’, maybe that gave everyone the impression of my emotional unavailability, this was my mistake……

Of all the mistakes I ever did, I fell in love with the thorns…your scars and not your beautiful petals which attracts half of the world….was this a blunder……
I chose silence over words, quiet over fights, trust over doubts…..I now consider myself a master at this game of committing mistakes…
Should I seek forgiveness for all these mistakes…is there any forgiveness….because for some mistakes even I couldn’t forgive myself…maybe this is another one of my mistakes…………

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3.30AM

I have always been more of a dreamer. Wondering about the delicate fibres of time and space, life on faraway galaxies, late night street lights and a train completing its journey are generally my late night companions.
There is a time in our entire day which very beautifully fits in this tiny boundary between late night and early morning, my favourite time of the day……3.30am.
3.30am, when our feelings come to the corner of our eyes as tiny tear beads, remembering a distant someone.
3.30am, when we like to sit on the balcony and enjoy the silent and peaceful view from the balcony imagining how would it be surviving in total silence.
3.30am, when we are broken, vulnerable and truthful our own favourite version, our romantic fantasies coming to fore….the time when there is no time…..
3.30am, when we run out of fucks to give…
Then there are so many infinite other feelings trapped between the heaviness of the eye and the lightness of the heart, memories and fantasies, sweet love and heartbreaks, dreams and worst fears……all of these when combined silently in the presence of moonlight and little sips of whiskey can do wonders…these are the things worth keeping you awake at night….
no wonder they say, legends never sleep…..for they try hard but they couldn’t….

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